Yay! Birthday! I’m so excited to be 25! What’s that? I’m 28? Already? Ugh.
28. Deep twenties. One step closer to 30. It sounds so grown up, doesn’t it? I still feel like an awkward 14 year old most of the time, so the fact that I’m considered a well adjusted adult with health insurance and car payments seems really strange to me.
Every year on my birthday my dad promises me a pony. Dad, if you’re reading this: I’m expecting 28 ponies plus interest of 3 ponies no later than Saturday. Pink and sparkly ponies are preferred, but other colors accepted.
Anyway, back to business. Birthdays can be really scary when you’re struggling with an eating disorder. I can remember dreading my birthday (and Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, other people’s birthdays, Tuesdays…etc.). The thought of all that attention (and food!) was pretty scary. I missed out on a lot of family celebrations because I was so preoccupied with my own thoughts rather than being present in those joyous occasions. Now I truly look forward to them! Sure, it can be a little nerve wracking to be around all that food. Sure, it’s easy to feel guilty for eating something a little indulgent. Sure, your fingers might swell to three times their normal size and your wedding ring strangles the rest of your finger (just me?). But the secret is allowing the moment of insecurity, then letting it go. For every negative thought you have about your body, give yourself a compliment. This might be difficult at first, but eventually you start to take inventory of all the amazing things your body does for you! This is an activity my therapist, Rita, and I did regularly when I first starting seeing her (Hi Rita!). Start small if you need to: My legs get me from point A to point B, I’m really good at my job, I’m so strong that I hit a PR on bicep curls, My hair looks really good today! Eventually the negativity takes a back seat. You are awesome, I promise!
So today was not unlike other days. I went to work, I did some speech therapy, I ate some brownies (that’s right, multiple brownies), some lunch, the usual. I have received some requests for healthy lunch ideas, so here’s what I had today:
That’s a really terrible, non-filtered, aluminum looking lunch picture. It tasted really good though, promise! It’s chicken (just pan fried with Mrs. Dash no-salt seasoning), baby spinach, a little feta and some hummus. The giant green thing is an oatmeal tortilla (1/3 cup oats, 1/4 cup egg whites, bunch of spinach, water, grind and fry like a pancake…are you noticing a theme with the pancakes yet?). This was super delicious and a nice combination of lean protein, fat, and complex carbohydrates.
So that’s it. 28. This is what 28 year olds look like, in case you were wondering:
Still got it 😉