Cancun: An ED Free Vacation

Hello! I have so much to tell you, where do I start?!

Well for starters, Chris and I were in Cancun last week and it was AH-mazing. For those of you that do not follow me on Instagram (you should, by the way), here are some brag-stagrams for your viewing pleasure:

Yes, I am aware that these photos are just the same selfie/beachshot/sunset over and over again, but we literally did nothing besides lay on the beach, drink mojitos, and eat. This vacation was freaking awesome and the number 1 reason it was so good was because ED was NOT invited. Last year over February vacation, Chris and I went to Jamaica. That trip was a real turning point in my recovery as it was the first time I truly felt that I was able to be on vacation without ED. It is so interesting to look at your life in a series of vacations and snapshots and realize how far you’ve come. After re-reading that blog post, I realize that my recovery has continued to evolve to the point where now I don’t even think about ED when planning a trip. Or while ordering sugary drinks. Or eating what looks good. Or while digging through the 50 (that’s correct, 5-0) pounds of clothing I brought to Mexico, only to wear 3 different bikinis and 2 dresses for dinner. THIS is recovery.

This photo is what truly opened my eyes to what a year of recovery looks like:

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The left side is last year in Jamaica. I was SO nervous about having Chris take it. I made him take like 30 or 40 versions with various levels of tummy sucking in and flexing, and hemmed and hawed over posting it. I nit picked every inch of my body after posting my blog and felt really weird about the whole thing. The right side is this year in Cancun. This year, I thought it would be funny to post the same picture. Chris took a couple versions because the sun was behind a cloud. This is not flexed or sucked in. This is a spray tan and a sun burn. That’s a real smile. So while I really felt recovered in Jamaica, I still had some serious body image things going on. Am I completely comfortable in my body 100% of the time? No. But what this photo comparison really shows is that a year of loosening up my diet and exercise plan and being nicer to myself yielded a billion times more confidence, and some visible abs! Hey, I’ll take that over sucking and flexing every day.

Sunday night we got stranded in Florida (which was actually a lot worse than it sounds), and the only open restaurant in a 20 mile radius was a 24 hr diner. Chris and I ate omelets, french toast, onion rings, tater tots, etc etc etc. No, I didn’t feel tip top the next day, but I was also way too exhausted to work out or care about making sure my diet was perfect. It’s all about balance, people.

Anyway–This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. To celebrate, I’m reveling in bikini pics and happy vacation memories. Also, if you’re in the area, I’m speaking at the MEDA hosted panel of recovered speakers. Come by and hear from some really amazing people about their journeys.

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xoR

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A Blog About Nothing

Hi! Long time no talk!

Here’s the deal: I really have nothing to blog about and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’ve been searching for some blog motivation for 2 weeks and couldn’t seem to think of anything worthy of a post. My Fitness Blender Challenge is going well. I’m feeling positive about my body right now (flaws and perfections alike!). My reduced grain (REDUCED!) diet feels great and everything is awesome.

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February is Eating Disorder Awareness Month . This is a great time to reflect on the past year’s challenges and victories on my recovery journey. I’ve had so many experiences (both positive and negative) this past year and my recovery is at a point where it feels better to just focus on the future instead of the past. I think I put too much emphasis on how I used to respond to challenging situations as opposed to moving on. So…I’m moving on. Recovery is something that I hold very sacred and it inundates every aspect of my life, as my eating disorder previously did. If you’re feeling like you want to see how I got here, here’s my recovery story that I wrote last year. My story is ever evolving, so it might feel a little outdated. Otherwise, let’s move forward together!

Anyway, today is my 4th snow day in 3 weeks. I’m binge watching my DVR, snuggling with Gloria, Charlie and Oliver, eating coconut pancakes, wearing the same pajamas that I’ve been in since Saturday night (no judgement) and feeling grateful that we’re going to Mexico next week. Life is feeling really nice right now. I don’t want to brag and I don’t want to complain. This is recovery. This is normalcy.

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No makeup. Dirty Hair. Kissing Dog. Life is good.

Have a fab day!

xoR

It’s a 29 Year Old Thing…

Hello!

It is a balmy 16 degrees here in MA and there’s about 18 inches (and counting!) of snow on the ground. Not exactly my ideal day, but according to my countdown app we’re headed to Cancun in 20 days. I think I can make it!

This past Friday was my 29th birthday. I decided not to blog about it for a few reasons. 1. I don’t think anyone really cared that I was turning 29 as much as I did. 2. I was thoroughly enjoying the weekend with my friends and family. 3. I’m telling you about it now.

29 is a weird age. I’m not 30 yet, but don’t really feel like I’m in my 20s anymore. The difference between 20 and 29 is pretty staggering and my life is 180° different. At 20, I was a Sophomore at UMass. My interests included: drinking disgustingly cheap vodka by the gallon, working out for hours at a time, eating baby carrots, denying my eating disorder, and skipping class.

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This is the first photo ever taken of Chris and me (NYE 2005).

Now at 29, my interests are a bit different. Yeah, sure, I still like to eat healthy and keep fit, but now it’s well rounded and balanced. I drink a few glasses of wine a week (except for Saturday where I decided to pretend to be 20 again…I paid for it all day on Sunday). I look forward to a night in at home. I buy clothes that fit, not just with the size I think I should be. Yep, Chris and I have been together nearly 10 years (holy crap!), but we’ve grown up together from wild college kids, to responsible, bill paying adults with health insurance and a retirement fund. I love my 29 year old life. I hated my 20 year old life. I can honestly say that I’m happy now…what else do I actually need?

IMG_7542Most recent picture of us from Saturday. Still adorable, obviously

Anyway, blah blah blah. I’m currently on day 19 of the Fitness Blender 8 Week Challenge that I purchased and I. Am. Loving. It. I’m feeling strong, lean, and energized. Here’s what in store for me today:

Have a fab snow day!

xoR

2015: New Year, New Attitude

Hi! Welcome to post #1 of 2015! Yay! I hope everyone had a fabulous, fun, safe and memorable New Years 🙂

We spent NYE in Chicago with some of our best friends, then spent 3 days hungover. Guess we’re not 21 anymore…Oh well! We still had a blast drinking champagne, dancing and prancing around in fancy outfits. Here are a few pics from our epic NYE celebration at Highline in Chicago. Professional pics are c/o Glitter Guts Photo booth:

Yes, I’m wearing a jumpsuit. Also, I had a little meltdown about how big my arms look in those pictures. The only way I was able to chill myself out was by looking at pictures of fellow fitchicks and realizing that those of us that lift weights have a little more meat on our arms. Oh, and also, no one else cares. Seriously. No one else is spending their evening staring at my arms and wishing they were smaller. I certainly didn’t do that to anyone else present that evening, or ever in my life for that matter. So…I’m making a deal with myself to be more realistic in 2015. I constantly strive to better myself toward a more balanced lifestyle, and that includes being nicer to myself. 2015 is the year of body kindness and acceptance. Who’s with me?!

Anyway, yesterday I had my first workout of 2015. It was following a 4 day bender of champagne, pizza, and shopping, so it wasn’t exactly my best sweat-sesh. Here’s the workout from Fitness Blender (my current obsession):

I don’t think I burned 1000 calories, nor did I intend to, but it was time for a good detox. Speaking of Fitness Blender, Daniel and Kelli (the founders, trainers and stars of the videos) are debuting a new 8 week challenge today! Chris and I have decided to give it a try, as we are going to Cancun in 6 weeks! We need a little extra motivation this time of year, and these workouts never let us down. It’s $10 and you can order it here! Join us and keep us updated on your progress!

In addition to our workout challenge, we are REALLY trying to be better about cooking our meals at home. So this weekend I collected up tons of pinterest recipes and last night began our homecooked challenge with this Skinnytaste recipe:

SO MUCH YUM!

Ok, that’s enough from me. Have a super fabulous week!

xoR

Holiday Cheer Without Any Fear

Good morning! Hope everyone had a fabulous holiday 🙂

Chris and I are on vacation until January 5, which is pretty awesome. As you probably know, sometimes too much free time can be pretty stressful for me. 12 days off is really nice, but also a bit daunting for someone like me. So…what to do? Make a really strict vacation schedule and compulsively stick to it? Throw all structure to the wind and say “F it”? Maybe not…maybe find some middle ground…there in lies the difficult part.

This winter break, I’m taking time to reevaluate my “healthy life plan” and figure out how it fits into this busy life of mine. I’ve been thinking about healthy flexibility and how I can stay fit and healthy and still enjoy being a human being. So that being said, did I over-indulge on latkes on Chanukah and cookies on Christmas? Maybe. Did I force myself to workout for 3 hours the next day? Nope. I’ve been talking about my new plan to fit in good workouts in less time, and I recently found this 5 day workout plan on FitnessBlender which I LOVE. The workouts are all less than an hour and provide all kinds of modifications for increased and decreased intensity. Here’s day 1, which I completed on Friday:

Instead of completing day 2 on Saturday, Chris and I took Gloria for a long hike. She absolutely loved it and was a zombie the rest of the day, which is really hard to achieve.

photo(1)Otherwise, we’re just hangin’ around with family and will travel to Chicago on Wednesday for New Years with some of our bests! I bought a jumpsuit for New Years Eve, which is definitely a fashion risk for me, and instead of freaking out about how my body will look in it (which is my go-to), I’m getting a spray tan, wearing some HUGE hair, and moving on. I am all done with body shame and putting myself down. 2015 is the year of body pride and happy living for me. I will not say that that’s a resolution, per say, but rather an agreement to be nicer to myself. Check out this Buzzfeed article for more about body shaming in 2014. How are you going to fight back in 2015?

Have a fab week!

xoR

Thanksgiving Hangover

Hello! Happy Monday! Feeling tired and bloated? Me too.

how-i-feel-after-thanksgiving-catThis weekend was super fun and I’m definitely exhausted and feeling a bit sluggish, but it’s all good! Friday night was my 10 year high school reunion, which was actually really fun! I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since graduation. What a crazy decade it’s been. I made sure to chat with lots of old friends, but obviously stuck to my select few favorites! Here’s a few pics to suggest we only hung out with one another:

As I mentioned last week, I made a very conscious decision not to allow Thanksgiving to make me feel guilty. I am holding up my end of the bargain, but also using all those extra calories to feed my muscles during a few good weight lifting/HIIT cardio sessions! Here’s a really good workout I completed yesterday before taking Gloria on a super muddy walk in the woods:

Full Body Tabata Workout

Warm up: Complete each exercise for 30s. Complete circuit 2x

  • Jumping jacks
  • Toe Touches
  • High Knees
  • Leg swings (right)
  • Leg swings (left)

Complete each Tabata by alternating each exercise for 20s work/10s rest for 4 minutes total. Rest 1 minute between Tabata’s.

Tabata 1: Front Squat, Jump Squat

Tabata 2: Lat pull down, Mountain climber

Tabata 3: Dumbbell chest press, push-up

Tabata 4: Alternating bicep curl, power curl with resistance tube

Tabata 5: Overhead tricep extension, power extension with resistance tube

Tabata 6: Lateral shoulder raise, shoulder taps in plank position

Finisher: Alternate 30s jump rope, 30s body weight squat, 30s jump rope, 30s alternating lunge for 10 minutes total.

I hope you all had a super fabulous Thanksgiving! I know the days following a big eating holiday are typically harder for me than the actual holiday, so I understand those potential feelings of regret…but hopefully you’re able to let it go and focus on the fun stuff this year.

xoR

Are You Gonna Eat That? A Thanksgiving Reflection

Hi! Happy Day After Thanksgiving! Hope you all had a fabulous turkey day!

I am in the midst of a post-thanksgiving revelation. Last night was a game changer for my recovery. On the ride home, Chris and I were discussing how fun dinner was and how great it was to see everyone, and how good everything tasted. I realized that none of my thoughts or comments were related to feeling too full, feeling guilty about something I ate, or how I needed to hit the gym. That feels like recovery to me. Being completely present, laughing with my family, enjoying time together and eating what I want to eat.

This year I am thankful for so much. Our family had a pretty rough year, but persevered together. I am so incredibly thankful for my strong and supportive family, the best friends in the world, a beautiful new home, a husband that supports all my wacky ideas, two enormous orange cats and my goofy puppy. I am thankful for a body that gets up and does it’s job every day and doesn’t battle with my mind anymore.

With that, here are some pictures of the silliest Thanksgiving ever, where the house was filled with puppies, the disposal broke and the turkey might have been raw!